The Keys to Rewarding Our Children

Sometimes we need to implement reward systems to help our children achieve a specific goal or behavior. We need to increase their motivation, and this means developing a reward system that aligns with their needs. While there are many benefits to a reward system, not just getting them to do the things you want them to do, but also increasing their self-esteem, encouraging responsibility, and developing new skills, it's important to understand how to implement an effective reward system. Let's show you some methods.

Involve the Child

Involving the child in choosing the reward is critical because if they have a very specific love or passion, you can use this to your advantage. For example, if they love to watch anime movies online, it helps you set an appropriate goal. However, it's important to be age-appropriate too.

Be Realistic

Realistic expectations are just as important because we may find out soon that we're asking too much of them. Goals always need to be achievable, and while something like tidying their room may seem like a monumental task, we know our children well enough to give them the right types of support to help them do this. For example, when tidying their room, they may not do it to a high standard, but the fact that they have done it is worth rewarding. We should always strive for consistency at the outset, and then we can raise the bar later.

Offer Specific Praise

We should always praise our children for the efforts they've made because this is something that is incredibly hard for them. Going back to the analogy of them tidying their room, if they've done it, we need to praise them for doing this and encourage them to keep doing it often. So, then we continue to offer specific praise on a regular basis that improves their self-esteem.

Be Patient

As children learn new skills, it can be tempting to rush them along, especially if there's a time-specific goal, for example, one week of tidying their room every night. However, if the skills involve learning something new, it can take some time to get used to it, and they may challenge this by saying they're not able to do it or not have the confidence. When we choose a skill for them to do, it always has to be within their abilities, but even if they are learning something new, we should give it time. We have to remember that learning a new habit can take anywhere between 18 and 254 days!

Be Clear in Your Direction and Guidance

The child needs to know exactly what has to be done, whether we are homeschooling our children and are in the process of learning something new, or we just need to get them to tidy their room. We should always provide clarity because mixed messages could result in them getting frustrated, as well as us. Ultimately, to implement a good reward system is about following through on what you promise. If they want something because they did five days of tidying their room, they have achieved this, so, therefore, we have to deliver what we promise.