My father passed away few weeks before I got married, it was devastating. He could have been 63 years old on the 7th of this month. I still miss him after 12 years of being gone and I always wish I could have done different things with my relationship with him. This music video by Christina Aguilera always makes me cry, it always reminds me of my father and the way I handled things when he was still around. I will have to deal with this guilt that I have for the rest of my life, for not taking all the chances that I have had when he was still around.
If I knew things back then what I know now, I would have done things differently. He was always so proud of me with everything that I did but I always gave him a hard time for his drinking problem. I was always bitter towards him for not doing his best. When he suddenly passed I realized that everything he did, he did it for us, to the best of his ability. I wish I could turn back time but couldn't. I am saying this because I want other people to learn from my experience. It is very important to let your parents know that you appreciated them, while you still have time.
If your parents are still around, make time for them, reach out and tell them how much you care for them. I never got to do that for my father. I am so fortunate however that God gave me another chance to somehow do things for my father-in-law when I came here, the things that I failed to do with my own father. I feel like, it is my second chance to correct the mistake I have made and I am so happy I get to do that with my husband's father now that he needs it.
We were visiting the other day and I noticed that his toe nails were so long already. I offered to cut and he said no because he is the type of person who won't ask favors from other people but I insisted of doing it. I am glad he agreed eventually because he can't see anymore. He is almost 93 years old and he lives alone at his house. We make sure to visit him every chance we have because I know that he won't be around for long. I always remind my kids how important it is to spend time with their Pap while he is still around. He might not recognize us most of the times because of dementia but at least we still get to see him and talk to him.
I am so sorry for your loss. This is a great reminder to appreciate our parents and tell them how much we love them while we still have them.
ReplyDeleteIt is very hard to deal with parents that have a drinking problem. I wish you would have had more time with your Dad, but since you didn't. You need to forgive yourself. Your Dad chose the life he lived.
ReplyDeleteMy Dad died 13 days before my 16th birthday--I still miss him terribly and always will. My Mom is still around and I see her all the time--take her shopping etc. She will be 93 in November and also lives alone in her own apartment.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you!! My family is very close! My parents watch my kids twice a week and enjoys spending time with them! We live 20 minutes apart and I know they are always there for me and I'm always there for you! Family is VERY important!
ReplyDeleteThis song has made me cry over and over again more times than I can count. It is so beautiful yet heartbreaking at the same time.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear that your father passed away before your wedding. I have been realizing lately that life is too short and I try to make it a point to keep contact with family.
ReplyDeleteBoth of my hubby's parents are departed. My father is also. I know he wishes he had spent more time with his parents when they were around.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. Remember the good times.
ReplyDeleteMy husbands father, step mom, and mom are still going strong. They live 5 mins from us. My mother is going to be 60 in May and you wouldn't ever know that by looking at her. She lives about 15min away. My father died last year and I still haven't come to terms with it due to our long and bad history. I wish I would not have let him go without making my peace and saying goodbye. But, it was hard to get over what he did to me. You post was really touching.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss.. My mom passed when I was 16. Something isn't quite ever right or the same after. This song is a very emotional one!
ReplyDeleteAwh :'(
ReplyDeleteIt's very true- you never know how long you have with someone that you love. My friend just lost her son, who was only 13 months old and born with Trisomy 13. We can't predict what life's going to throw our way, we can only do the best we can with the time we have.
I'm so happy to see you're helping out with your father in law. My Gramma is getting older now and starting with early signs of dementia. I dread things progressing and I'll treasure the time we have.
You are so fortunate to have your FIL. You're doing a wonderful thing for him. I had a rotten and abusive father and my FIL was a jerk on a whole different level, so I never had a chance to have a good, older man as someone I could love or respect in my life. Ever...until an Uncle came stepped up six years ago. Finally, I have a father figure. Only took 39 years
ReplyDeleteSometimes we only realize how important people are to us when they are no longer there. However, I also believe that we should live without regrets. Just value the memories and try to live as your father would have wanted.
ReplyDeleteI remember how hard it was for me when my dad died too. I have grown up with Christina and her music, so that song really resonates with me too.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about your dad. It is nice to visit the people in our family, how wonderful that you stress that to your kids.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss, it's never easy no matter how many years pass. Both my grandparents died before I had a chance to really know them well and there isn't a day I don't regret that.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss. I was raised by my grandparents and my grandfather who was like a father died suddenly the week before my high school graduation. I was just a teenager and acted foolish back then and took the time I had with him for granted. *hugs* I can relate.
ReplyDeleteChristina Aguilera is one of my favorite artists. I am sorry that you feel this way. I hope that you get through this.
ReplyDelete93 years old, oh wow amazing. So sorry for your loss and agree with this post totally. Thanks for reminding us.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sad post, I'm very sorry for your loss. My grandmother is in her 90s and got very sick a few weeks ago. She's in the final stages of hospice and I am feeling like I cannot cope.
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My husband died suddenly 3.5 years ago so I certainly understand your pain. There are some songs that I hear and I immediately start crying like a baby. Music can hold powerful control over our emotions.
ReplyDeleteHow I wish I could spend more time with my parents in person but definitely can't. For now, I am just thankful with FB and Skype because those are the two things that connect us.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss. It is always good to sit down and appreciate the small things. The pain never goes away you just learn to live with it in a better way.
ReplyDeleteI'm so so sorry for your loss!
ReplyDeleteThat was such a thoughtful thing for you to do. Your father in law is lucky to have you. And yes, it's important to tell the people if your life that you care for them. Good words to live by.
ReplyDeleteWe should all value our parents. They loved us unconditionally, I'm sure your father knows how much you love him.
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